He joined the online dating site OKCupid six years ago, about three years before he transitioned. He dates men and women, both transgender and cisgender a term for people who aren’t trans. While some have criticized OKCupid for showing people false or manipulated content as an experiment, the site’s failure to accommodate transgender users may be a larger and more long-standing ethical dilemma. In , an online petition asking OKCupid to accommodate trans and genderqueer people received more than 1, signatures. LaMon has noticed that his male and female OKCupid profiles get different matches. LaMon wasn’t alone in his discontent. Sleidi said that she is “very gay,” and some of her transgender friends are uncomfortable using OKCupid. From the beginning, she knew it was important to allow people to identify as queer and transgender in their profiles. The other Mesh founders, who are straight men, agreed. Mesh, which is in pre-beta, allows users to identify as male, female, transman, transwoman, or non-binary—a person who doesn’t identify as male or female.

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Brene Brown has a lot to say about this. My favourite has always been OkCupid. I like it because it allows for very specific filtering, gives a percentage match and allows for more nuanced identities and orientations than any other site. Having said that, I do not take advantage of these nuances in my own profile.

The reason I do this is primarily that I personally, do not identify as trans. My experience has been that once someone likes you, then being trans is more often than not, not a deal breaker, though sometimes, it just is. It seems to be more of an experiential thing, than an intellectual thing.

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